Green Garden Hotel- Meru

A few metres from KEMU University main campus is a sign board that reads, "green garden hotel 30 metres welcome". It is opposite a car-wash looking structure called the Aqua place. With this name, the mind flew to huge green plains with all these indigenous ideas and concepts. We branch off the tarmac and follow the sign, driving slowly looking for the entrance in what seems to be a residential neighborhood. There is no sign at the gate and we drive logically into the only compound with an open gate.

View from the gate

A parking lot that will hardly accommodate seven small cars greets us with a central grassy area perfect for a few tents holding a wedding reception surrounded by small cubicles  with a table and four seats each probably used as an outdoor restaurant. There is a lone character in the kitchen scrubbing away at saucepans and utensils from the previous night.

Apparently nothing is cooked and if we need anything to eat we have to wait and place orders then he will start to cook. That already blacked out any positive thoughts i had. My colleagues convince me to look around and look for something positive to report. The lazy waitress walks slowly towards us from across the grassy patch as if she had not seen us arrive. I ask for a bottle of water and walk around sampling the building.

The walkway to the restaurant

Surprisingly, inside they have two remarkably big bars with separate counters and a promising music setup, looks like with good scaping a huge dance floor could emerge in the middle, the only challenge would be the private neighbors. Apparently there are no conference facilities and the place really was boring for a Saturday afternoon.

I may not rate this place because i could have visited on the wrong day. My advice : nothing to say about the green Garden Hotel This is a perfect case of a huge name promising a lot and under-delivering at best .. just what i saw...

Simba wells - meru

It was one of those December afternoons that we felt monied enough to drive far away and philanthropic enough to invite a friend or two. We decided to drive through the flush green countryside and soon we were cruising through the region of Meru. We decide to check out this place famed to host very big bashes.

Just a few blocks past the Meru prisons Gate we find this place to our left, the Pilsner sign welcomes us to Simba wells Meru. The entrance, as we branch from the tarmac is made from crushed stone blocks and pebbles for an all weather feel. The parking space is so huge that taxis just pass through to pick patrons without interfering with the parked vehicles. At this time of the day we have the whole lot almost to ourselves we get a nice spot just next to the security gate under a tree.

The security guys are nice and a little bit chatty, we hope they are this nice to all patrons, they show us through and give a few directional hints. Next to the gate, amid beautiful flowers is a little children's play area with a clown already entertaining a bunch of really excited kids. we could not resist taking a few photos. The entry ramp is so breathtaking, it is a swinging bridge and the team i have spends a few extra moments jumping up and down apparently trying to test its strength.

The security gate at simba wells

 This place has several restaurants each with its own theme and bar. The friendly waitresses great us at the door and ask us to choose which restaurant we want to use, we decide on the top floor and are ushered into a big airy, ship deck-like room, with excellent airflow, African setting including a sisal sail for the ceiling and an open balcony with more seating space overlooking Makutano town (an off-shoot of Meru town).

We get a nice spot next to the gaming booth with a pool table and decide to order deep fried indigenous chicken served with roasted potatoes. we sip on our chilled drinks as we wait for our food which arrived in record time before we had finished our drinks.

The chicken was sumptuous and the potatoes divine, the vegetables did nothing but heighten the pleasure, the meal experience in the midst of the serene environment was something rare for a Saturday early afternoon. While we licked our fingers our waitress insists that we should come back one day and spend an evening sampling their meals and music. She insists that no place in the region has better music and party venues. We leave satisfied with a promise to come back and dance our souls out some day.

This is a nice place to be with friends and you could even reserve an area to yourselves and relax while chatting away the hours.

Wonderland Fishing lodge - Ishiara

I had always heard for the “pride of mbeere” that’s what they call this place in the wilderness of Ishiara. The place they call the New wonderland fishing lodge, a place which by heresy was a paradise on earth. So on this beautiful afternoon with very charming company we decide to cruise to the hidden place of ecstasy. The road leading to this place is wonderful, a lightly used tarmac road with minimal traffic interference and very few bends. The route is beautifully scenic with varying rich vegetation and some kind of a peaceful breeze flowing through from the hills on the horizon. Within a few minutes from the junction of the Embu- Meru highway, we arrive at this little market called Ishiara.

We drive through the market and at one point we stop to ask for directions. We acquire ourselves a self-proclaimed tour guide who apparently claims to be the owner’s cousin. The guy takes us back through the route we have come only to realize that he was just prolonging the ride to increase his projected tip. A couple of minutes later we branch off the tarmac for about ten metres and arrive at the gate.From the gate the place looks promising, two buses are parked here showing presence of some teams either here for team building or conferences of some kind.

Our tour guide takes us to the coolest parking spot under some umbrella trees where according to him the sun never reaches at any time of the day. At his insistence we tour the place to view the establishment. The accommodation offered shows a lot of potential. Some neglected round houses with gaping holes for windows stand across some beautiful newer structures. The round houses are in dire need of renovation. After several photos we decide to look for a spot to order some of the famed goat meat.

The restaurant section is completely run down, the seating cubicles bear huge cracks where the lizards openly play their mating games. The single sweeper raising a lot of dust as she sweeps off falling leaves in the middle of a sunny day. The spot we choose is this almost falling gazebo next to the fresh water stream that is apparently untapped by the establishment. On one side is the run down children’s play area and on the other are some unfenced iron sheet structure village that look like their staff quarters. The children are playing skipping over the stream and past clients tables in their seemingly normal hide and seek games.

The single server on duty is doing rounds between the bar, the gazebos and the kitchen. We wait for a few minutes as he scampers to look for clean plastic seats and when we eventually seat we conveniently send of our guide with a “generous tip”. When the server reports back we are surprised that we can not order the roast goat, being a fishing lodge we logically order for fish next, that too is not on the menu, reason? The fishing lodge is just a marketing gimmick, the third and last option was chicken which we would have to wait for an hour. We reluctantly order the chicken and he leaves with the order. Out of curiosity I decide to visit their bar only to find a dilapidated structure with blocks chipping of from the counter tops. No one is in sight, both patrons and hosts. being a weekend, I expect to find merry revelers there. I am told that the place is undergoing renovations, which I find difficult to swallow quickly. I order for some juice and go back to my company.
After what seemed like centuries, our chicken arrives accompanied by freezing rice. The guy explains that they have no microwave ovens but he would find a way of re heating the food. He comes back later with the same cold rice. We decide not to create a scene, push it aside and focus on the bird on our plates. the sound of the stream in our background is refreshing though interrupted now and then by the giggles and shrieks of the playing children. We choose to wash our hands in the stream after the meal to enhance the meal experience. Thoughts of swimming cross our minds but apparently, this place has no swimming pool. The environment here is tranquil and with better facilities, we would have not left on this day. The bottom line is I left feeling cheated; I had travelled from the city to have an elegant wilderness experience, which I did not get.

With a swimming pool, a fishing pool, a large children play area, a good bar, newly styled gazebos, professional staff and better use of the natural stream themed along the establishment this place would be a real pride. Currently it is a shame to use the word pride for this place

Magunandu Restaurant - Embu

It this nice evening after some errands in Embu town that I feel a strange craving for some caffeine, my partner for the day decides  we sample out the restaurant in Maguna-andu supermarket. Being in a supermarket right in the center of a busy town you can be sure not to find a parking spot. So after driving through half of the town we get a parking spot infront of an electronics shop and embark on our mission.

There is a common entrance for all shoppers next to the point of sale terminals, after a brief security check we are through to explore the world. The restaurant is on the first floor immediately after a few comfortable steps. The small restaurant is a complete contrast from the crammed spaces of the rest of the supermarket.

They got the setting right, the cashier is right at the door as you enter next to the fruit case, the hot range is next clearly in view as you enter. From the door we can see the chef and his cooks go around their equipment in a fairly well maintained setup. The design ensures that the smoke doesn’t reach the client’s tables and still allows them to see a huge bit of the operations on their food

The furniture and fittings well blended with the wall fittings, it is simply well done. The wall hangings with funny messages about food, the best for us was “he who eats alone chokes alone” the tables and chairs are really unique and elegantly comfortable in an apparently tiny space, even with a handbag storage space below on several tables for the fashionista

The waiters’ uniform is also distinctive with the African print half coats. The waiter approaches us to take the order and for the first time my bubble of bliss bursts. The guy appears tired, no smile no enthusiasm appearing tired though from my observations he has very few stations to get tired. He takes the order in such a hurry that it is apparent to us that the guy is not professional. We order a cup of coffee and some samosas.

The guy brings coffee first then a couple of minutes later literally dumps the dumplings onto our table for us to pick and leaves as if chasing something. We choose to ignore the tired waiter who apparently needs to be retired. The coffee is good, and the samosas also taste well but the freshness is very questionable. The cooking bit is fine. 

Clearance of the tables is wanting since our table remains uncleared for several minutes as we chat away the time. On several occasions I saw the cashier clear tables and pick bills from several tables; noticeably regular clients. We wait for almost half an hour with our bill on the table before we ask the waiter why he was not picking our bill. He explains in a bored, matter-of-fact way that it was our responsibility to walk to the cashier and pay on our way out and let them do the service. You can imagine the smile I had on my face. Apparently even with my philanthropic mood on I could actually comfortably walk away with my tip.

Generally the place is good and I am not letting one waiter ruin the total experience. It is a place worth visiting and enjoying yourself as you shop.