Legacy Star Hotel and Kwi bar - Chuka

Their website describes this place as one "set on the slopes of Mt. Kenya and along the Embu -Meru Highway this is the perfect and refreshing stop for business conferences, retreats, family outings and to enjoy some time off with a good meal, sweet sleep, a well stocked bar with live entertainment as well as a perfect workout in the gym". we decided to sample this place in the middle of the country town of chuka.

Set right in the middle of Chuka town you expect the normal challenges of either insufficient or uncontrolled parking. After getting some parking spot (improvised along the Chuka - Meru highway) we walk back to the entrance. Green Uniformed security guards look on absent mindedly as we march in, we do not want test whether they know their job we just assume they do.

View from the Highway

  The reception happens to be on the ground floor next to the managers office and other administrative offices. The lady at the desk directs us to the staircase that leads to the restaurant and bar above. The restaurant is pretty simple and seemingly convenient with the partly open kitchen concept serving well the clients need to view their food in process.

Direct view from the  entrance

The waiters are a bit slow in coming for the order but eventually a lady approaches us and cheerfully explains the menu in between dashes to ask the chef what items were available. looking around i see several people taking coffee and the waitress explains that it is a popular spot for informal meetings since the setting allows convenience for deal making

Balcony eatery overlooking the town

I am told the Johns are in the bar past the balcony with additional seating space overlooking the town. on my way to empty my bowels i find a beautiful buffet arranged for a group that was in conference somewhere in the building. A glance at the bar also shows some hope of a professional bar man and management.

Back at the table i find the manager greeting guests happily ensuring everything was right and we quickly make acquaintance and give our thoughts. The food was not bad though slight improvement would not do any harm. An average establishment for a growing town those were our enlightened views. we were happy as we tipped the smiling waitress 

Buffet @ the Legacy star Kwi bar

The Safari park hotel (Thika road)

Much has been said about this historic place and my opinion may not matter much so i will just say what i experienced. Driving along a surprising free Thika Superhighway, i get this weird thought of taking a beverage at this great place. (This usually happens to commoners after payday whenever the normally empty pocket feels the weight of a timely salary payout)

Entrance

This place is so big that it has three entrance gates for different reasons i guess. I decide to use the Last gate which i am told is the main gate to the offices and nearest to the reception. The security man seems to like his work as he hands over the parking card and the environment is so natural with tonnes and tonnes of green flowing around the place.
The entrance to the lobby is just beautiful with the two lions guarding the entrance, Beautiful Red coat clad doormen and the great Jumbo in the background seemingly waiting to welcome the patrons into this similarly huge place. From the lobby i spot a mini bar just above the reception and following the stairs i order a bottle of cold drinking water. The most expensive price i have had to pay for the same since my birth.

The best thing is the temperature, the water was too cold my teeth almost fell into the glass but the stomach relished the experience. Several cultures sit around me  as i slowly sip my overpriced 500 ml bottle of H20. I swallow in the experience with an air of superiority feeling that i share this still air of greatness with these yellow, dark and light people from all over the world.

The staff is also quite respectful of my distance and stay away amidst regular glances at my direction. By the time i rise to leave i am feeling the effect of spending two lunches worth on drinking water. I leave a happy man.. i will come back one day and probably spend a whole month's salary on some camel ribs or milk if they do have that..

The luke hotel (Roasters inn) - Thika Road

According to their website,this fine hotel (Luke) and its sister restaurant (Roasters inn) have over the years, become symbols of excellence, sophistication and high quality service at pocket friendly costs. They claim that their goal is to make your stay pleasant, comfortable and memorable

I have always assumed that i know this place, well i discovered i did not. The boys were hungry for a fun filled evening and one had the excellent idea of roasters. After branching off from the super highway at the junction named after the same inn. The entrance is a few meters away from the round about. At the gate a lady guard approaches and after peeping inside needs to check the boot all the while speaking in some local dialect to a colleague i just hope her eyes do not miss anything while she concentrates on whispering loudly

Amazingly adequate is the parking space spread all the way from roasters inn all the way to the Luke hotel, i do not bother to ask about the capacity because the place is humongous. Out of curiosity we decided to view the facility and we walked through the large hotel reception with a strong warm red lounge and a tall maasai old man sculpture sited opposite the front desk. A smiling lady greets us in Swahili and explains a few questions we had briefly. From the lounge the swimming pool and the pool side seats are visible and the ambiance is amazing. It takes a lot to believe that we are only a stone throw from the busiest highway in the country
Inside the hotel we notice security personnel placed strategically watching from a distance as the patrons merry away the hours and money from their pockets. once or twice they redirect us along the paths and entrances around the place and we get into the inn.. our destination

From outside roasters seems like a tiny eatery, we step in that the truth after going through a security check and the first thing i see is layers of meat awaiting their date with human teeth. The place is divided into sections and we threw ourselves into one called  "Banda La Banda". A full goat is what we ask for and we seat down to sample drinks. The live band is tuning their instruments as we take our seats. what was to follow was the most memorable musical experience so far

As if they were told i had arrived, they sang from my greatest Bob Marley, UB40, Lucky dube, Alpha Blondy all the classic roots reggae to a few modern conscious hits and by the time i remembered the meat and food it was well past midnight. The music from the band was amazing. As i sat down to my meat they were switching to great country hits and wonderful zilizopendwa tunes with a dash of Lingala all done in the same great style. Kudos band, you made me sweat.

The goat was greatness in itself, the ribs done to the bone, the tenderness out of this world and mmmmmh the taste so good. They brought the head and the offals in the wee hours of the morning and i was amazed that our stomachs could still accept more. We kept gulping them down until the chaffing dishes were cleared and kept on dancing in between meat, mukimo and drink stops.

By the time we were leaving i had to be dragged out just because the others wanted to leave. This is one place that i would have stayed for more hours on end. My opinion speechless... just make sure you do not go alone.. carry a team of fun loving happy people and you will write the story too..

NATIVES SPORTS BAR AND GRILL - Nairobi

The boys needed to meet and re connect face to face; it had to be face to face since a full decade had elapsed before some laid eyes on each other. The air was filled with anticipation and the venue had to be an airy place with plenty of freedom to chat away our years of absence. The lots fell on Natives along Thika road Nairobi.

View from the main gate

The location next to the Gumba junction is so convenient you cannot miss it from either side of the highway since it is next to the flyover that connects the traffic from both sides of the superhighway. The nice security guy at the main gate, in well straightened uniform and clean boots, chats me up as he peeps into the car and allocates me a parking token. Another member of his team leads me to a vacant parking spot in the humongous parking area just at the entrance. After parking he welcomes me to the place and tells me, I will enjoy the dance.

The welcome leaves me excited, at the entrance there are other security personnel in dark fitting suits frisking each patron professionally as we enter the establishment. They welcome us in impeccable language and demeanor. I am taken aback by the sheer size of the club. As far as my eyes can see, people are dining, I am pretty convinced this is the eatery with the biggest client space in the city. The sitting areas are spacious unlike the tiny Nairobi clubs where you have to touch your neighbor's back whenever you leave for the Johns. They even have a real tent pitched in the middle serving as another restaurant with optional buffet service.

The African setting is amazing and the several bars strategically placed all over from right at the entrance give the place a colorful touch. Being a sports bar, a dozen big screens dot the walls and corners with the European matches beaming live from every angle with speakers chanting cool music to the whole institution from one Dj hidden in some music box. After tracing my buddies in the myriad of mini restaurants and bars, we order our drinks, this place has got it right in terms of staff; the waiters are as many as the clients, hardly half a minute passes without a waiter passing by our tables and in they operate so swiftly amid the great masses of revelers. Kudos to the management for that, I have not seen such efficiency in large establishments anywhere, these people got it right.

For a city club, this place has very fair pricing, though they will charge you if you ask for warm water, the warm drinks are warm and the chilled drinks come truly chilled, many of you will appreciate that convenience. They lacked honey when we needed it though but there lemons were fresh.

 Everyone seems to mind their own business as we laugh our throats dry, seems like the culture here, everyone knows what brought them here and do not pry into your lives, very good for those meetings that you do not want your boss to hear of, unless of course the boss attends his here. And when you arrive mind your own business.

Men do not meet in the absence of goat ribs, so we asked for several kilograms, still very fairly priced for Kenyans, two hours later the sizzling chunks are served by this cute nice girl, name withheld, who kept the boys entertained as she made rounds ensuring we were comfortable. I have no idea what they did to those ribs but it was worth the wait; served with Ugali that did it great additional  justice. Fingers were licked literally and the platters almost licked as well. 

The lit gangway and the dazing lights

 By the time anyone noticed the passing time it was deep into the night having exhausted, the laugh reserves in the body and wives calling to find out where there men were. This place will drain your pockets and you wont regret it, I know I did not. The sporty feel will follow you out with the multicolored floor lights confusing your brains

Green Garden Hotel- Meru

A few metres from KEMU University main campus is a sign board that reads, "green garden hotel 30 metres welcome". It is opposite a car-wash looking structure called the Aqua place. With this name, the mind flew to huge green plains with all these indigenous ideas and concepts. We branch off the tarmac and follow the sign, driving slowly looking for the entrance in what seems to be a residential neighborhood. There is no sign at the gate and we drive logically into the only compound with an open gate.

View from the gate

A parking lot that will hardly accommodate seven small cars greets us with a central grassy area perfect for a few tents holding a wedding reception surrounded by small cubicles  with a table and four seats each probably used as an outdoor restaurant. There is a lone character in the kitchen scrubbing away at saucepans and utensils from the previous night.

Apparently nothing is cooked and if we need anything to eat we have to wait and place orders then he will start to cook. That already blacked out any positive thoughts i had. My colleagues convince me to look around and look for something positive to report. The lazy waitress walks slowly towards us from across the grassy patch as if she had not seen us arrive. I ask for a bottle of water and walk around sampling the building.

The walkway to the restaurant

Surprisingly, inside they have two remarkably big bars with separate counters and a promising music setup, looks like with good scaping a huge dance floor could emerge in the middle, the only challenge would be the private neighbors. Apparently there are no conference facilities and the place really was boring for a Saturday afternoon.

I may not rate this place because i could have visited on the wrong day. My advice : nothing to say about the green Garden Hotel This is a perfect case of a huge name promising a lot and under-delivering at best .. just what i saw...

Simba wells - meru

It was one of those December afternoons that we felt monied enough to drive far away and philanthropic enough to invite a friend or two. We decided to drive through the flush green countryside and soon we were cruising through the region of Meru. We decide to check out this place famed to host very big bashes.

Just a few blocks past the Meru prisons Gate we find this place to our left, the Pilsner sign welcomes us to Simba wells Meru. The entrance, as we branch from the tarmac is made from crushed stone blocks and pebbles for an all weather feel. The parking space is so huge that taxis just pass through to pick patrons without interfering with the parked vehicles. At this time of the day we have the whole lot almost to ourselves we get a nice spot just next to the security gate under a tree.

The security guys are nice and a little bit chatty, we hope they are this nice to all patrons, they show us through and give a few directional hints. Next to the gate, amid beautiful flowers is a little children's play area with a clown already entertaining a bunch of really excited kids. we could not resist taking a few photos. The entry ramp is so breathtaking, it is a swinging bridge and the team i have spends a few extra moments jumping up and down apparently trying to test its strength.

The security gate at simba wells

 This place has several restaurants each with its own theme and bar. The friendly waitresses great us at the door and ask us to choose which restaurant we want to use, we decide on the top floor and are ushered into a big airy, ship deck-like room, with excellent airflow, African setting including a sisal sail for the ceiling and an open balcony with more seating space overlooking Makutano town (an off-shoot of Meru town).

We get a nice spot next to the gaming booth with a pool table and decide to order deep fried indigenous chicken served with roasted potatoes. we sip on our chilled drinks as we wait for our food which arrived in record time before we had finished our drinks.

The chicken was sumptuous and the potatoes divine, the vegetables did nothing but heighten the pleasure, the meal experience in the midst of the serene environment was something rare for a Saturday early afternoon. While we licked our fingers our waitress insists that we should come back one day and spend an evening sampling their meals and music. She insists that no place in the region has better music and party venues. We leave satisfied with a promise to come back and dance our souls out some day.

This is a nice place to be with friends and you could even reserve an area to yourselves and relax while chatting away the hours.

Wonderland Fishing lodge - Ishiara

I had always heard for the “pride of mbeere” that’s what they call this place in the wilderness of Ishiara. The place they call the New wonderland fishing lodge, a place which by heresy was a paradise on earth. So on this beautiful afternoon with very charming company we decide to cruise to the hidden place of ecstasy. The road leading to this place is wonderful, a lightly used tarmac road with minimal traffic interference and very few bends. The route is beautifully scenic with varying rich vegetation and some kind of a peaceful breeze flowing through from the hills on the horizon. Within a few minutes from the junction of the Embu- Meru highway, we arrive at this little market called Ishiara.

We drive through the market and at one point we stop to ask for directions. We acquire ourselves a self-proclaimed tour guide who apparently claims to be the owner’s cousin. The guy takes us back through the route we have come only to realize that he was just prolonging the ride to increase his projected tip. A couple of minutes later we branch off the tarmac for about ten metres and arrive at the gate.From the gate the place looks promising, two buses are parked here showing presence of some teams either here for team building or conferences of some kind.

Our tour guide takes us to the coolest parking spot under some umbrella trees where according to him the sun never reaches at any time of the day. At his insistence we tour the place to view the establishment. The accommodation offered shows a lot of potential. Some neglected round houses with gaping holes for windows stand across some beautiful newer structures. The round houses are in dire need of renovation. After several photos we decide to look for a spot to order some of the famed goat meat.

The restaurant section is completely run down, the seating cubicles bear huge cracks where the lizards openly play their mating games. The single sweeper raising a lot of dust as she sweeps off falling leaves in the middle of a sunny day. The spot we choose is this almost falling gazebo next to the fresh water stream that is apparently untapped by the establishment. On one side is the run down children’s play area and on the other are some unfenced iron sheet structure village that look like their staff quarters. The children are playing skipping over the stream and past clients tables in their seemingly normal hide and seek games.

The single server on duty is doing rounds between the bar, the gazebos and the kitchen. We wait for a few minutes as he scampers to look for clean plastic seats and when we eventually seat we conveniently send of our guide with a “generous tip”. When the server reports back we are surprised that we can not order the roast goat, being a fishing lodge we logically order for fish next, that too is not on the menu, reason? The fishing lodge is just a marketing gimmick, the third and last option was chicken which we would have to wait for an hour. We reluctantly order the chicken and he leaves with the order. Out of curiosity I decide to visit their bar only to find a dilapidated structure with blocks chipping of from the counter tops. No one is in sight, both patrons and hosts. being a weekend, I expect to find merry revelers there. I am told that the place is undergoing renovations, which I find difficult to swallow quickly. I order for some juice and go back to my company.
After what seemed like centuries, our chicken arrives accompanied by freezing rice. The guy explains that they have no microwave ovens but he would find a way of re heating the food. He comes back later with the same cold rice. We decide not to create a scene, push it aside and focus on the bird on our plates. the sound of the stream in our background is refreshing though interrupted now and then by the giggles and shrieks of the playing children. We choose to wash our hands in the stream after the meal to enhance the meal experience. Thoughts of swimming cross our minds but apparently, this place has no swimming pool. The environment here is tranquil and with better facilities, we would have not left on this day. The bottom line is I left feeling cheated; I had travelled from the city to have an elegant wilderness experience, which I did not get.

With a swimming pool, a fishing pool, a large children play area, a good bar, newly styled gazebos, professional staff and better use of the natural stream themed along the establishment this place would be a real pride. Currently it is a shame to use the word pride for this place

Magunandu Restaurant - Embu

It this nice evening after some errands in Embu town that I feel a strange craving for some caffeine, my partner for the day decides  we sample out the restaurant in Maguna-andu supermarket. Being in a supermarket right in the center of a busy town you can be sure not to find a parking spot. So after driving through half of the town we get a parking spot infront of an electronics shop and embark on our mission.

There is a common entrance for all shoppers next to the point of sale terminals, after a brief security check we are through to explore the world. The restaurant is on the first floor immediately after a few comfortable steps. The small restaurant is a complete contrast from the crammed spaces of the rest of the supermarket.

They got the setting right, the cashier is right at the door as you enter next to the fruit case, the hot range is next clearly in view as you enter. From the door we can see the chef and his cooks go around their equipment in a fairly well maintained setup. The design ensures that the smoke doesn’t reach the client’s tables and still allows them to see a huge bit of the operations on their food

The furniture and fittings well blended with the wall fittings, it is simply well done. The wall hangings with funny messages about food, the best for us was “he who eats alone chokes alone” the tables and chairs are really unique and elegantly comfortable in an apparently tiny space, even with a handbag storage space below on several tables for the fashionista

The waiters’ uniform is also distinctive with the African print half coats. The waiter approaches us to take the order and for the first time my bubble of bliss bursts. The guy appears tired, no smile no enthusiasm appearing tired though from my observations he has very few stations to get tired. He takes the order in such a hurry that it is apparent to us that the guy is not professional. We order a cup of coffee and some samosas.

The guy brings coffee first then a couple of minutes later literally dumps the dumplings onto our table for us to pick and leaves as if chasing something. We choose to ignore the tired waiter who apparently needs to be retired. The coffee is good, and the samosas also taste well but the freshness is very questionable. The cooking bit is fine. 

Clearance of the tables is wanting since our table remains uncleared for several minutes as we chat away the time. On several occasions I saw the cashier clear tables and pick bills from several tables; noticeably regular clients. We wait for almost half an hour with our bill on the table before we ask the waiter why he was not picking our bill. He explains in a bored, matter-of-fact way that it was our responsibility to walk to the cashier and pay on our way out and let them do the service. You can imagine the smile I had on my face. Apparently even with my philanthropic mood on I could actually comfortably walk away with my tip.

Generally the place is good and I am not letting one waiter ruin the total experience. It is a place worth visiting and enjoying yourself as you shop.